that’s the thing, though. you always think you want to be noticed. until you are. (chapter one)
my own life felt flat and sad too much of the time; it was reassuring, somehow, to lose myself in someone else’s. (chapter two)
even the worst person had someone who cared about them at some point. (chapter eight)
there’s no shame in trying to make stuff work, is how i see it. it’s better than just accepting the broken. (chapter fourteen)
“i think,” i said, “that the best would be somewhere in between. you know, to be acknowledged without feeling targeted.” (chapter fourteen)
what was due me, then? only tiny seconds where things felt right, just fleeting enough to make me crave more? was that it? i was beginning to think so, that i just couldn’t get what i wanted, that maybe i didn’t even have any idea what that was. (chapter fifteen)
“who is it?” i asked.
“no idea. i found it in a jar my mom has full of them,” he said. “i was looking for one like mine, then just someone i recognized. but then i thought maybe it was cooler to have it be a mystery, you know? so it’s not just about one thing, but anything. that way, it can be about what you want it to be.”
i turned it over in my hand. like the image on the front, the back was well-worn, the few words there unreadable. “saint anything.” i looked up at him. “i love it. thank you.”
in fact, one was watching us right now, somewhere nearby. keeping his distance, knowing she needed me to herself right then, but still, just outside this door. (you’d know this scene if you’ve read the book. i loved this line).
you only really fall apart in front of the people you know can piece you back together. mac and layla were there for me. even if, and especially when, i couldn’t do the same for them.